Not and not, "A Tear, not a Fissure"

This is about my walk back from the doctor this noon.  And what the doctor said about my "pain in the butt."  It is also about attempting to use the iPad to type on while walking.

I am walking down Kercheval with iOla after seeing Beeai about my “bottom” (anus and rectum).  I was also trying to carry a bag and separately, loose papers, prescriptions and appointment cards while typing on iOla.  That wasn't working.  However, I now how the papers in the bag and the bag over my shoulder and am trying to type with iOla in landscape,  I can see the test slightly better this way, but the keyboard is so large it is hard to reach the center keys. I have to suspend the iPad from my bent fingers and this could get quite tiresome.

Dr. Beeai said that I do not have hemorrhoids.  She said this as if it were a good thing.  I also do not have an actual anal fissures, which is also a good thing,  I guess, from her attitude.  What I do have is "a tear in the anus and rectum, an injury from a too large, too hard poop.  This takes time to heal and it is essential not to allow constipation to occur again," she says.  Does she think I want to be constipated?  That I choose to be?  No, she simply wants me to take extra precautions.

She gave me two prescription, but I could only get ONE of them filled at the Kerchival pharmacy.  So I have to drive CVS and leave the other one and go back for it, probably.

Meanwhile, this has taken the whole morning and will take more time before it is over.  And I am supposed to be packing for trip.  K told Sam and Joan that we do this every time.  We are often, but not always late, but I almost always start like week ahead planning and making various preparations, shopping, etc.  The fact that K himself does little until the last minutes doesn't mean WE "always wait until the last minute." I was sad that he would say that; it means he doesn't notice or appreciate or care about the effort I put into shopping and preparation, and doesn’t care if Sam and Joan think I’m a lazy piece of shit. This time, I have NOT done much because I was NOT sure we were even going or how long we'd be gone and I’ve been VERY under the weather.

Keith is wrong about the fact that we "never" do anything to get ready, that it's always like this.  We are often later and slower leaving than we ought to be, or than we want to be, but this time it's much worse.  MUCH WORSE, as I've been unable to do much of anything.  And yes, normally, I would have shopped once for staples and once for perishables by now, and had them all organized.  Grr, Keith.  You mean bad man-- you make me feel bad.  I feel unloved when you say things like that.
Keith was right, though, about Lidocaine ointment.  I didn't like the idea of it, but Dr. Beeai prescribed it.  so it put some on--but it only helps on the OUTSIDE, and it also hurts on the INside.  she gave me some suppositories which I’ve been afraid to try.  I’m afraid they will hurt going in.  But--I guess I will try them--now.

            I am back at my car—I drove halfway there and walked the rest of the way—I wanted to walk the WHOLE way, but I didn’t have time from the time I called to the available time slot.  And I was able to write this on the iPad, iOla.  It was a little slower but might improve as I get used to it.  In many ways, I like the Psion better.  But LOOK, I downloaded this—with a bit of effort—to Leo and will be able to print it.  It SHOULD be easier.  But since the Psion’s software won’t download on Leo, I guess it is better than nothing.  I’m still not sure how well it will all work, but hey--