Botox Tomorrow

Botox Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I will have botox shots in my anus for my anal fissure.

Ironically, since I've been fasting, the anal fissure seems to be healing.  I am afraid he'll get in there and say it doesn't need botox shots.  I called twice to warn him.  (See below).

I start the fleet enemas tonight after dinner (2), and tomorrow morning before the procedure (1).

I will have stool in there.  When you don't eat, the stool that is already in there just sits there, and as it sits there, it hardens, because water is drawn out of it in the intestines.  It gets rock hard and dangerous.  This is why fasting is not considered a viable option for treating fissures.

It would have to be done under careful doctor supervision, perhaps by totally emptying the entire colon first, as they do before a colonoscopy with the oral stuff.

Since I have done this before with fasting (four days of fasting before my colonoscopy), I know what to expect:  the insertion will be very painful the first time because of the fissure.  A bunch of terrible burning stuff will come out, including lumps (I hope they aren't too hard).  The second time, of course, if will hurt worse, and the third time, worse yet, since the enema nozzle and the burning shit and enema mixture will damage the fissure area.

I think, if I could fast long enough with doctor supervision and assistance, I could heal without the botox.  However, I am now committed to the Botox.  I'm afraid now that the doctor will say it's not bad enough for botox shots!  It has been getting better every day.

I tried yesterday to call and talk to the doctor.  I got Catherine, who's intelligent and sensible, but Barbe wasn't available and Catherine was with a patient.  She gave me to Yvonne, who seemed like and must be a total moron--she delivered the WRONG MESSAGE, the exact Opposite message, to the doctor, who was then wanting to switch me to having the OPERATION tomorrow!!! (AS reported later by Catherine when she called me back).  NO NO NO!!!  I told her NO, that wasn't what I said.

I called Catherine back again today to reiterate that I am IMPROVED, not worse. (Thank God I didn't get Yvonne). I asked Catherine to PLEASE tell the doctor, as I was worried he might actually be upset by the fact that I'm so improved.  However, after three Fleet enemas, I might be back to ground Zero.  Also, of course, he will be also shoving that sigmoidoscope up in my butt, which has the potential for tearing and damaging the fragile healed parts.

I'm likely to come away feeling MUCH WORSE than I feel now, between the enemas, shots and sigmoidoscope.

I wish I could talk directly to the doctor, but he's never available when I call.

I am trying to be practical and realistic in my expectations.  I am willing to have things turn out better than I fear.  I just don't want them to turn out worse.  

I hope they give me something for pain.