The Red-hot Poker

The red-hot poker
This is not my image.
I got is here.

OK, I admit, it is a BIT of an exaggeration.  But I couldn't find a red-hot poker at the exact correct degree of heat.  So, imagine jamming that thing up your butt.  (Only not QUITE that hot!  (HOT, but not THAT hot!))  That will give you an idea of what an anal fissure feels like--to me.  Especially while pooping and for a good hour afterwards.

I had a perfect exercise day yesterday--though I was in so much pain that it took all day to get the exercises done. I did get a little extra walking in, but not a lot. Today I lept up and did the exercises as fast as I could before I pooped.

I had just barely got them done when I pooped. My pain and bleeding was worse than yesterday, which was worse than the day before. I sat in the tub for 42 minutes and had to leap dripping out to poop a second time.

I am embarrassed to say that I howled so loud from the pain I was afraid someone would call the cops.

(I am really ANGRY at that receptionist who not only wouldn't let me come in to see Barbe, but also wouldn't even lat me talk to him on the phone.)

Then I sat in the tub again, and now I am sitting on the heating pad. I took two acetaminophens. NOTE, in case I haven't previously mentioned it, you can't take codeine-based pain pills--they worsen the problem.  (Something is worsening MY problem even though I am NOT taking codeine-based pain relievers.)

Keith is at work. He, ironically, has a colonoscopy scheduled for April 24 with Dr. Barbe (My proctologist). He is now on a special preparatory diet. He is pleased because he can have mac and cheese and beer for three days, then beer the day before the event. I am worried because I have to take him for the procedure in the morning when my pain is at its worst, and when I may have to poop without access to a tub etc. I don't want to be sitting there screaming and howling in pain. I do not want to be without access to something that helps soothe the pain.

First and most important, I want to heal from this terrible pain. I hope on Tuesday at 2:30, Dr. Barbe will be able to help me.

Red-hot Poker Plant
This is not my image.
I got it here.
THEY got it here.

When I was looking for an image of a red-hot poker (a real poker), I kept finding instead the red-hot poker flower.  Unlike reporters from the Miami New Times, I DID know there was such a flower.  This plant is pretty, but does not have the power to evoke the pain I am experiencing.  My pain is somewhere between the image above and this.  Maybe halfway between, or slightly more toward the actual poker.