WHAP!
I have a very gross but somewhat
amusing story. Don't read it if you are easily grossed out.
Every
night at bedtime, I have to insert those Canasa suppositories. They are
hard, bomb-shaped with a sharp point. My butt is swollen and inflamed and
it's difficult to find my anus--I know that sounds weird, but the whole area is
lumpy with swelling and painful and I can't see down there.
It
takes a while to find the right spot, and it hurts to jam that hard, pointy
object into those inflamed tissues. If I don't push it far enough in, it
has a tendency to pop out again. It did that a couple days ago, after it
had been in long enough to melt some, and was difficult to reinsert. It hurts
even more the second time.
So
last night, I pushed it and it slid out and I pushed it in and it slid out and
I pushed it in and it slid out. I carefully stood up, holding my finger
over my anus. I had not yet added the external ointment. I stood
there and waited to see if the suppository was wedged above the rectal
sphincter and planning to stay in place. It seemed to be.
I
waited a moment longer, and then bent over to retrieve the ointment. WHAP.
I didn't really feel anything special, as the bending was stretching all
that stressed tissue--it just hurt. But I had an idea what had happened
and I turned around and looked and sure enough, the suppository had shot out at
high speed and whacked into the bathroom tile.
I
had to retrieve it and start all over again.
When I went in to the bedroom and
told Keith about it, he pulled the covers over his head to keep from laughing. He has some idea how much this all
hurts, but it was kind of funny.
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