To poop or not to poop, that is not the question

Dr. Barbe told me to stop taking the Canasa and prep H suppositories and I did and got worse. The day before yesterday, after a week off them, I started them again, and yesterday, I felt somewhat improved.  (After two days of agony.)  Still not good--I had to sit on a heating pad until 3 PM before I could do anything else.  But the day before, I was in terrible pain all day and until 2 AM.  I hadn't been getting BETTER on them, but I'm improved somewhat.  Not improved enough to do anything, but at least I have less pain.

For a while, I was pooping several times a day, and Dr. Beeai said that with an anal fissure or tear, that was common--the pain makes the anal sphincter contract and stops the movement.  But you still have to go, so it starts up again.  Each time I would poop, the pain and bleeding would be worse.

Then, I was pooping just once in the morning, and it came out sudden and with force and hurt.  At least it was over with in one fell swoop.  If it was early, I had all day to recover.

Then there is the issue of gas.  The stool softener Dr. Beeai told me to take until this was over softens the stool to such a point that the gas seems to have trouble getting to the right spot without taking poop out with it.  The bran causes gas.  So this morning, I passed gas and a small amount of poop, which means I will have to poop again later.  It always hurts worse the second time.  Plus there is a delay in the recovery time.  It already hurts.

I have poetry class tonight.  I may not be able to go.

I think that eating less food might help, but one would have to stop eating altogether for a long time in order to not poop at all.  I'm not sure I could do that long enough.  (But how can it ever heal with poop coming through daily or multiple times a day?)

On another note, I was reading in my records that Dr. Beeai said I had no hemorrhoids, but Dr. Barbe said I did have them.  (Last time, in 2010.)